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There are way too many talkers for a few listeners. There are way too many promises for few actions. There are way too many people for a dignified life. There is way too much suffering for little happiness. There are way too many cars for incompetent drivers. There is too much waiting for mere seconds of realization.

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I have been quite sensitive to smells lately which is pretty weird once I am not and, usually never smell things before they have burnt or something like that. I step out in the street and each step I take I can smell something different. Sadly, no matter how much of perfume I wear I can never smell it on me. Perhaps, it wears off easily.But, I sit on the bus and inevitably think.. Whenever there is a bad smell in the air; it simply ruins everything. The way you see people… Can’t respect anyone, no matter how smart, how beautiful. A bad smell will definitely ruin any bit of romanticism. It reminds you that we can’t take ourselves seriously. Ever. I picture Dostoevsky frowning to the odor and, idealism dying right there in front of the beautiful and elevated…couple,whose ‘i love you’ was garroted by a fart stench.

Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew

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Took the fence and a lane the bus then the train, bought an Independent to make me look like I got brains

The other day I sat on the bus and watched out of the window. How the people would pass fast by and the houses and the trees. The sunshine illuminating the grass. Then I began to think of death. That, it seems so comfortable here (sometimes) and, that it will end. Someday, which I don't even know the date..it will be my final stop and I will never get to eat aubergine again.

Days of Heaven (1978)